Being a good slave

Life is dumping a lot of stuff in my lap right now.  i feel like i am not serving MASTER the way HE deserves.  The hard part, for me, as a slave is learning that it does not matter if i think something is right, but rather, whether MASTER feels it is right.  My new job has had intense training.  i just passed the "final" test to move on to the second stage of training.  Four weeks from now, i will officially be working "post-training".  my son has also added twists to my life at this time that are very difficult to deal with.  i come home, exhausted from training, dealing with familial emotions and need to find time to study and get my grades in school.  Having said all of this, i need to serve MASTER in more tangible ways than i have been able to as of late. 

MASTER says i am serving HIM well and that i am a good slave.  i do sleep for HIM the way HE desires each night.  i am always bound in some way, with wrist and ankle cuffs in place.  Tonight, i am to be plugged with the double butt plug.  It hurts beautifully and rattles like mad every time i move.  i am also ordered to have my feet attached to the spreader bar at its widest width and be diapered with my plastic pants.  i am to wear my waist chain but have my hands attached to MASTER'S collar.  i know that i will be uncomfortable yet comforted by the security of serving MASTER.  i love to be diapered and give up even my bodily functions to my MASTER.  i hate the plastic pants, because they cut in and the spreader bar does not allow me to get comfortable at all.  The hands, on the other hand, are so comforting when MASTER allows me to have them attached to my collar and near my face. 

i know that when this is all said and done, that i will serve HIM more outwardly and journal again like i should and please HIM in ways that i still have not even dreamed of.  For now, i do as ordered and try to remember that it is MASTER'S happiness that matters and i am not the one to meter the quality of happiness.  HE is.

i love YOU, MASTER, and i look forward to suffering beautifully for YOU very soon.